“It’s Not About Me”

Mark 8:31-38

March 12, 2006

St. Paul United Methodist Church

Rev. John A. Fleming

Sometimes there is a difference in what is said and what is heard. Let me give you a good example of that. Really it is a preacher’s joke that circulates from time to time. Because it’s a preacher’s joke, I hope that it is appropriate. Not all preachers’ jokes are, by the way. It is the one that is told about the ninety-five year old widower who decided that he should go and see his doctor. After all, it had been several years since he had seen a doctor and he was now ninety five. The appointment went well. His doctor did all of the things that doctors do and gave the usual good advice that physician’s give. A couple of days later, the doctor was eating at a local restaurant and saw his patient. The ninety-five year old had a big smile on his face. A beautiful young woman was sitting next to him. His arm was around her. In front of him was a large steak. Next to it was a potato with all of the trimmings. His doctor walked up to the booth where the two were arm in arm. There was a strange look on the physician’s face. The man looked up and said, “I am glad to see you. In fact, I owe you quite a debt of gratitude. The advice that you gave me was perfect. I have never been more happy. The doctor relived the man’s visit. He tried his best to remember what he had told the man that would lead to what he was now doing. Nothing came to mind, so he asked, “What advice do you think that I gave?” The man said, “You told me to get a hot mamma and be cheerful.” That’s the line that might offend; I hope it doesn’t. I say it only because it is important to the story. The doctor looked back at his patient and said, “That’s not the advice that I gave you. I told you that you’ve got a heart murmur and be careful.

Sometimes we hear what we want to hear. Just before I married, I was in Fordyce serving an internship there. I was there again yesterday attending the wedding of a dear family friend. Being there reminded me of the story of what happened the day that I attended the birthday party for Warren Jordan. Warren’s hearing wasn’t what it used to be. Warren, too, was ninety-five. He had been married to his wife, Grace, for more than sixty years. Like I said, Susie and I were about to be married. I wanted to have a successful marriage and so when my mentor leaned over to me and asked, “Do you know why Warren and Grace have been married for so long?” I was interested. I was sure that he was going to give me some great insight that would lead my marriage down the same path. Instead he said, “Warren hasn’t heard a word that Grace has said in thirty years!” We both laughed. I still love to tell that story.

Sometimes we hear what we want to hear or we only listen to people who tell us what we want to hear, whether it is the truth or not. When there is another word spoken, when we don’t hear what we expect to hear, sometimes it dashes our hopes. It is then we discover that the expectations that we had, perhaps were wrong in the first place.

Maybe that is what is happening in our scripture lesson for this morning, taken from the eighth chapter of Mark’s gospel. We have been back and forth in this gospel the last few weeks. If you take these lessons, you see what is happening with Jesus and his followers. You might say that what is happening is like a roller coaster ride. We go from the high hill of the transfiguration of Jesus, a holy moment, back down to the valley where there is a boy who is struggling with a seizure. The disciples can do nothing about it. Then we go back to wilderness with Jesus where he is tempted for forty days and then make your way back up the hill when Jesus turns to the disciples and asks, “Who do you say that I am? We are on top of the roller coaster hill when Peter says what the others are thinking and hoping, “You are the Christ.” “Bingo!” Jesus answers, commending Peter for his God given insight. But in the next breath Jesus spoils it for Peter and sends us back down the roller coaster trail when be begins to teach. He predicts for the first time that he must suffer, be rejected by the religious authorities, and be killed, and then three days later rise from the dead. Peter did not like that rebuke, you will remember. Since he had spoken once for the group, he decided to do so again. These aren’t exactly his words, but he must have thought them, “Wait a minute. That’s not what I meant. I don’t want to hear that!

Nobody wants a Messiah who can’t even save himself. That’s not why we are following you.”

Now we know what Jesus says to Peter. In fact I’ve mentioned it in three recent sermons. Jesus says, “Get thee behind me, Satan!” What we don’t know, or perhaps don’t realize is that in the midst of that, Mark has this line about this first passion prediction, “He said all of this quite openly.” I like the way that the New International Version of our Bible puts this. There it reads, “He said all of this quite plainly.” Both words seem to say to us that what Jesus is about to offer is not up for debate. This won’t be tossed around the coffee pot or in the weekly staff meeting with the disciples. This is a pronouncement. He said this plainly. “The son of man must suffer many things, be rejected by the elders and killed, then on the third day, rise from the dead.” He said this plainly. Jesus said this openly.

Now think about your Bibles. In some places we read that Jesus called his disciples together and told them, taught them something important. In other places, we read that Jesus called the multitude together. Here Jesus does both. “He called the crowd with his disciples. That’s a clue that what he is about to say is very important, so listen real good. What he gives us in this passage are three short sayings all familiar, all similar, all disturbing. We know them all. First, if any one would come after me, let him take up his cross and follow me. Second, “Whoever would save his life will lose it; and whoever loses his life for my sake and for the sake of the gospel will find it.” Third, “What does it profit a man if he gains his whole world and forfeits his life?” There they are, back to back to back, grouped all together. These are hard sayings. They are easier to take, I think, when they appear all alone, isolated, and by themselves. But here they are, placed powerfully, back to back to back. I think that it is also easier to sing such words, “Are you able said the Master, to be crucified with me. Yea the sturdy dreamers answered to the death we follow thee. Lord we are able.” Those are the words of a hymn that many of us would not even have to have our hymnals open to the right page!

All three of these hard sayings of Jesus basically say the same thing. It is this, if you want to find life, you have got to lose yourself. Now, I don’t mind telling you that this is a passage that I usually try to steer clear of. In fact, when it came up in the lectionary three years ago, I retreated, and picked another and much easier passage. It is hard to preach these words. It is hard to tell people that following Jesus is this hard. My guess is that not many people will be moved to come down the aisle and join the church when this sermon is finished.

If you want to find life, you have to lose it. But you know that it is true. In those moments when we can get outside of ourselves, commit ourselves to something bigger, something greater something more powerful than we could do by ourselves, we often find meaning.

There is a phrase that has become very popular these days. It is this one, “This is not about you.” It is a phrase that sometimes is used as a mild rebuke. As in, “You know, this is not about you.” It is a mild rebuke. What the one who says it is saying is this, “Really this is about me.” My favorite Christian author, Max Lucado, wrote a book by that title. A member of our staff highlighted the title in a magazine and handed it to me. We laughed.

I want you to see this. The Christian life is not supposed to be about us and what we do. The Christian life is supposed to be about God and what God has done. “For God so loved the world that he sent His son into the world to save it.” The disciples did not understand Jesus. For us to understand him, we have to realize that life is not about us and what we have done. Life is about God and what God has done for us. We have to lose ourselves, we have to forget ourselves, we have to get outside of ourselves in order to really hear what God has done for us.

We have to be reminded of that, because that is not what the world tells us. The world tells us something very different. I was raised and conditioned to believe that my self-worth as an individual is dependent on my achievements, especially when it is measured against other people.

I hate to admit this to you, but this even happens among the preachers in our state. I want to quickly say that I don’t like this and don’t really have a desire to participate in it. I just want to be where God wants me to be. In our system, there is a ladder to climb. You work your way up the rungs by going to this church and then to that church. There is even a sheet that lists what the salaries are for particular churches. And sometimes, even us preachers, particularly in the spring of the year when appointments are being made, wonder, “How am I doing? Why can’t I be appointed to that church?” Instead, we should understand that even the ministry is not about us. It is about Jesus Christ and His church.

We worry about how we are doing, what other people think of us, if they are noticing us and our work. I experienced a conversion, a liberation, when I came to understand that what I do and where I do it, isn’t really about me. It is all about God and what God is doing. “Those who want to save their lives will lose it.” What does that really mean?

Leo Buscaglia, a great teacher and author, talked about the advice that he once gave one of his students. At the time, Leo was teaching at the University of Southern California. His student was miserable. He felt that there was nothing meaningful about his life. One day his teacher said to him, “Let’s go make a visit” Leo took him to a nursing home, near the campus. Inside were a lot of people who were struggling with the end of their lives. There were people laying on their beds, sitting in wheelchairs, the kind of thing that you would find in any nursing home.

Leo and his student walked in. The student looked around and asked, “What am I doing here? I don’t know anything about older people!” His teacher said, “Good. Do you see that lady over there?” He shook his head. Leo said, “Go over there and say hello to her.” “That’s it?” he asked. His teacher shook his head and said,“Sure, just go over and say hello.” So he did. The lady looked up at him suspiciously, then asked, “Are you one of my relatives?” When he answered, “No, I don’t think so.” she said, “Good. Sit down.” He did. They began to talk. The professor wrote, “My goodness, the things that she told him. She told him about all kinds of things about love, about pain, about suffering, and even about approaching the end of her life, with which she had made peace. She knew all of these things, but no one cared to listen.”

This student loved it and started going to see her every week. His professor said that the greatest day in his teaching career happened when he saw that same student walking across the campus, like a pied piper, with more than thirty people from that nursing home, on their way to a USC football game.

Whoever loses themselves, ultimately, finds themselves. My hope for you during these days of lent is that you will spend a little time realizing that our lives really are about God. And I pray that you will spend a little time finding yourself. Let us pray.