“A Lasting Legacy”

Matthew 7:7-11
June 17, 2007
St. Paul United Methodist Church of Little Rock

Reverend John Fleming, Senior Minister

Before Annie Grace was born, two friends of mine gave me two different books about fathering. The first was given to me by Kaye Hoover, a good friend, whose office backed up to mine when I worked downtown. Kaye just happens to be a veteran children’s minister, now a director of a large child care center; she’s a mother of four and a grandmother of five. When Kaye learned that Annie Grace was on the way, she said to me many, many times, “Your whole life is about to change.” I said, “Yeah, yeah. I’ve heard that a thousand times.” I laughed about it until the evening of May 4, 2001. That was the evening Annie Grace was born. Kaye was right, of course. My whole life has changed.

Kaye gave me a book whose title is How to Dad. It’s title tells you what is inside the book. In it’s pages are instructions about how to do certain things like how to fly a kite, how to teach someone to tie their shoes, how to put a worm on a fishing line, and how to put your daughter’s hair in a pony tail. I will admit that I’ve used the book a lot more in the last couple of years than in the first couple of years of Annie’s life.

The second book was given to me by Jeanie Burton, our former pastor. The two of us worked together for four years. We were fast friends. She handed me the book with this disclaimer, “I don’t know about the author of this book, but its title looked good. If it’s not good, I hope you’ll forgive me.” The book’s title simply was, What a Difference Daddy Makes. As it turns out it was a pretty good book. The author tells about his daughters, two of which, at the time of the writing were in their late twenties. The author raised four girls. His advice covers everything from what happened when he saw his girls for the first time to what happened when one of them left home for college.

When Julie was born, none of you gave me a book on parenting. I guess you all think I have it all figured out! By the way, I don’t. There is another book on my bookshelf that I pull down every once and while and read again. You might want to read it, too. Its title is simply Fatherhood. The author is the famous Bill Cosby. As you would suspect, Bill writes from a father’s and a comedian’s point of view. Let me share a line or two from the book. Bill writes, “So you’ve decided to have a child. You’ve decided to give up quiet evenings with good books and lazy weekends with good music, intimate meals during which you finish whole sentences… You’ve decided to turn your sofas into trampolines. Why?” And, of course, he gives an answer. He says that poets have written that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. The poets might be right. I would like to suggest that we also have children because of love and because we want to pass on what we have received. We call that sort of thing a legacy.

Well, today is Father’s day. You don’t need reminding of that. I heard about one little boy who gave an interesting description of Father’s Day. He said, “Father’s Day is just like Mother’s Day, only you don’t spend as much on a present.” I heard someone else say that the real difference between Mother’s Day and Father’s Day is that mothers are more organized. In mid April they begin the hints and employ the children. The children usually say something like, “Now don’t forget that Mother’s Day is coming up. You wouldn’t want to disappoint momma.”

This morning I would like to say a word to you about how important it is for fathers to take a vital role in the lives of their sons and daughters. I am going to include mothers in the sermon a little later.

I may have shared with you that when I was in seminary I worked at the University Park United Methodist Church. I also worshiped there. I wasn’t the church’s associate pastor. I didn’t do youth ministry. My job there was to work in their after school care program. A friend of mine helped get me the job. When I went for the interview, Mary Lange, the director of the program said, “What I want you to do is to drive a van to area schools and play with the children in the gym and on the playground.” Mary didn’t spell it out for me, but I should have known what she was trying to say. She was trying to tell me that there was a population of six and seven, eight and nine year olds whose main male influence was going to be me.

Now here is the problem. Not everyone has a great opinion of their fathers. Of course I do. My dad has been wonderful to me. So has my mom. Someone wiser than me has said that children get their view of God from their fathers. The way they are treated by their fathers, the way their fathers speak to them, plays an important role in the child’s understanding of God. That is why one prominent pastor in Arkansas said in a sermon that he found it hard to pray the Lord’s Prayer because his earthly father was not a wonderful man. That is why on Mother’s and Father’s day we pray a special prayer for those who have been good fathers, those who have been like fathers to us, and those who had a little trouble with that task.

Let’s look at our scripture lesson for this morning. The lesson comes near the end of Jesus’ sermon on the mount. This passage, in part, is about prayer. Jesus says, “Ask and it will be given to you; search and you will find it, knock and the door will be opened for you.” The words are about prayer, but they are also about how we are to think about God. Jesus continues, “Is there any among you, who if your child asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake?”

In this passage, Jesus is encouraging us to replace hesitant and bashful prayers with bold and venturesome ones. Jesus is concerned that we will see God as mean and as a God who is ready to curse us and not to bless us. Jesus says, “That’s not what God is like!” Instead God is like a loving parent who promises good gifts to those who seek after him, especially in prayer.

In another place, Jesus teaches that we can call God “Abba” translated the word Abba means father, but what it really means is Da-da! Julie already knows that word. Jesus also says this, “If you, then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children…”

We should stop the lesson there. What comes next isn’t flattering, but there is truth in it. We know we are not perfect as parents. We know that we make mistakes, that we misjudge situations and sometimes do the wrong thing for the wrong reason. One of the lessons of the church is that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God. What this means is that we won’t be perfect parents. But listen to what the lesson says. It says that though we are sinners, we still know how to give good gifts to our children.

So with the time left this morning, I would like to mention two good gifts that we can give our children. Here is the first one. We can give our children a relationship with God.

By now most of you know that I grew up in the church. I have rarely left church and have missed few worship services in my thirty-nine years. I was taken to the church when I was just a few weeks old. I was baptized at the altar rail there at First United Methodist Church in Jackson. Twelve years later I was confirmed there. If it were up to me, I would have been married there. There is some rule that you are supposed to marry in the bride’s church so we married at Belmont United Methodist Church in Nashville, Tennessee.

All the important things in my early life happened at my home church. Verlene Humphreys rocked me to sleep in the nursery. A few preacher rocked me to sleep with their sermons. That’s another sermon. Verlene taught me that there was safety in her lap.

My dad worked for the church, he was our church’s music minister. Not a lot has changed, huh dad? On Sunday morning the question wasn’t if we were going to Sunday school and church, but when we would leave the house. When we present our babies for baptism, we promise to raise them in the church. That means Sunday school and church. My parents quietly introduced me to God. I cannot remember any lesson they taught me from the Bible. But they did teach me that going to church was their expectation. It has made the difference in my life.

As you know mom and dad had three kids. Two of us became preachers. There was a time when Emily reminded mom and dad that she wasn’t a preacher. But did you know that near the end of her life, Emily began to talk about the possibility of working for the church as a children’s director? How did it happen? My parents never encouraged us to enter the ministry. They never brought up the subject. They also could not have been more proud when I decided to pursue it. One of the great gifts we can give to children, our children or other children, is a relationship with God.

Let me offer a second possibility. We can also give children a good example. Our children are always watching us.

Just this week I ran across these lines of what one son said about his parents. Consider the following a long quote, “When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator and I immediately wanted to paint another one. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray dog and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake and I learned that little things can be very special things in life. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I knew there is a God I could always talk to and I learned to trust in God. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick and I learned that we have to help take care of each other. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing and I learned that those who have something should give to those who have nothing. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you take care of our house and everyone in it and I learned that we take care of things entrusted to us. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw how you handled your responsibilities even when you didn’t feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grew up. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s always all right to cry. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be. When you thought I wasn’t looking, I learned most of life’s lesson that I needed to know to be a good person. And when you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked at you and I wanted to say, ‘Thanks for all the things I saw when I wasn’t looking.’”

Our children are looking. Don’t forget that. Happy Father’s Day. Amen.

(Special thanks to Kay Hoover and Jeanie Burton for the gifts of the two books. Special thanks to my dad for his great work here at St. Paul, but more importantly for being a great and supporting and encouraging father. Special thanks to the writers of Homiletics magazine for the words about the son who noticed things when his parents thought he wasn’t looking).